A local tragedy, triggers a memory

So yesterday a woman, who I have associated with on several occassions, was killed in a head on collision. Six years ago, December 9th, my husband was in a similar accident and survived. The gentleman he hit head on, was killed instantly.

The morning was misty and drizzeling. DS's alarm went off at 5 am. I nudged him to get up. He rolled over and tried to cuddle. I pushed him away. He went to work mad. About an hour later, as I am laying in bed waiting to hear the kids get up, I hear the phone ring. Groaning, I rolled over, thinking it was work calling me in on my day off and I was already scheduled to work at my second job, the winery. Five minutes later, the phone rings again. This time my son AA answered and brought me the phone.

I was still thinking it was work, but then I hear a womans voice say something about our area hospital. Confused I asked her to repeat what she just said. She informed me that my husband had been in a serious accident. I laughed and said "No he hasn't" Denile is a river in Egypt. She once again informed me of what had happened. By this time I was standing in the kitchen and the kids were starting to file in from upstairs. I clearly remember feeling my legs start to buckle under me, but the looks on the faces of the kids stopped me in my tracks.

I believe I said "Oh my God, where is he?". Then suddenly I realized the kids were listening to my end of the coversation and they realized something was wrong with their dad. I watched each of them as their faces showed the utter devistation that comes in this type of situation. I wanted to freak out and cry, but I couldn't let the kids see me lose my mind. BK-DQ started sobbing, AA was jumping up and down freaking out and crying, Jr. has tears quietly rolling out of his big blue eyes and Sissy is crying and looks absolutely terrified.

I have to say that the human brain is an amazing piece of machinery. I have no idea how I pulled off the next steps in that situation. I basically bum rushed the person off the phone. I had alot of things to accomplish before I could leave the house to head to the hospital. First phone call, to my mother. She lived about an hour away and I heard her feet hit the floor as I was talking to her.....the most amazing thing about this situation, she HATES my husband.

Second call was to the gas station, my first job, where my husband stops every morning on his way to work. Had he been there? Yup, filled up at 5:35. Ok, so I know about where the accident happened.

Third call, to Mr. Bikerguy who helped my husband get his job in the Union, he would know how to contact the company my husband was working for and let them know what happened. I got stonewalled by his wife. I asked to speak to Mr. Bikerguy. Mrs. Bikerguy asked who I was. I told her who I was, what happened to my husband and exactly what I needed from her husband. Mrs. Bikerguy had the gall to say he was sleeping. DUH !!! It's 6am and Mr Bikerguy is retired, but I really needed his help. She finally conceeded to let me talk to him. Sheesh, I hope when she is in a crisis nobody ever treats her like a criminal. Ok, hubby's work taken care of.

Oh crap, I can't leave the kids home alone, well, I can, but not during a crisis and mom will be at least an hour. Who to call?? Oh yea, Mr Beefy and Ms Beefy. They live 3 miles from us. We live in the country, so in perspective, that is pretty close. Hey, Mr Beefy, DS was in a really bad car accident this morning, can you come sit with the kids till my mom gets here? Ok, thanks. (they ended up taking the kids to their house, way to take directions people)

Now my work. Called my second job boss, who used to be a friend, to tell her what happened. Also on my agenda was getting a phone number or having her call one of our co-workers. He was an elder in the church my husband and I just started visiting. I asked her to contact him to see if the pastor would be willing to come and pray for my husband. Boss lady said she would make those calls and then meet me at the hospital.

Now to actually get dressed. Pants. Where are my pants?? Kids calm down and help mommy find her pants. Oh yea, clean underwear, I don't know how long I will be gone. Group hug !!! Sitting the younger kids on my lap and reassuring them daddy would be ok. (Yea, I know, I know, I was lying, but I had to leave them alone for a short period of time and they needed peace of mind). Ok, guys be good till the Beefy's get here. Love you.

Into the van and off to the hospital. Unless you have been through this type of thing before, you cannot fathom the responsibility I was feeling while driving there. Things flashed through my mind. What if he is ok, but disfigured? What if he dies? What would I tell the kids? How are we going to pay for this? Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Was it the other drivers fault? Can we sue if its not our fault? Will we get sued if its his fault?? OMG, slow down, dummy, you could be the only parent they have left and you are gonna kill yourself. I wonder if he is still alive? How am I going to pay the bills with him out of work? Well, maybe he is ok. What if he isn't ok? OMG, what if he is brain damaged?

I finally arrived. It is kinda hazey here. One of my gas station co-workers shows up. Why? We can't stand each other. Surreal. The doctor, an Indian woman, keeps coming out of the freakin' ER room and shaking her head. WTF? Things are not looking good. I told her there was something she could do, FLY HIM TO THE MAJOR HOSPITAL. Oh, cant do that because of the misty conditions. Ok, DRIVE HIM THERE. He isn't stable enough? Are you just going to sit there and watch him DIE??

I see a friend come in the ambulance entrance, just like I did. I asked her what she was doing there. She says her mom was in an accident. I freaked !! OMG did DS kill my friends mom? I asked if her mom was ok? She looked at me kinda funny and said yes. Off she went to see her mom. My boss showed up, and the winery owner showed up to sit with me. FINALLY, they wheeled him out to the ambulance. He never regained consiousness before he left our podunk town. Oh and for the record, they revived him once on the 60 mile drive there, once in the ambulance bay and once on the operating table. That's right folks, he died 3 times.

The hour drive to the major hospital was uneventful, except for when we drove thru the crash site. As we (my boss drove me there) were approaching the accident scene, there was a state trooper in the road. We pulled up to him and he started screaming at us. WTF?? I rolled the window down and told him who we were, what we were doing and he screams some more. WTF?? Dude calm down. I roll my eyes and rolled up the window while he is still ranting at me and tell boss lady to ignore him and drive thru. The other 15 cops waved us thru without incident. Wow..his truck was really mangled on the drivers door. The truck he hit head on, looked hardly damaged at all, just a bent front fender and quarter panel. Why was that semi parked on the side of the road? There was green paint from my husbands truck all over grill.

As we were pulling off the highway it hit me. He could be dead. I could be a widow at the age of 39....er 29...not a time to be lying about my age, 39. Geez, I don't wanna date again. *shudder* As I walk into the hospital and tell the orderly behind the desk who I am, he says "oh, you have a phone call." WTF?? Surreal. I get on the phone and its my brother. I even pulled the phone away from my ear to look at it, as if it is an object from a flying saucer. My brother asked me some question and I said, geez Douchebro, I don't even know if he is alive at this time. My brother, not the hospital, informs me my husband is alive and being prepped for surgery. WTF?? He has no relation to my husband, how did he get the information I couldn't even get from orderly guy. That kinda ticked me off...oh well, move on.

Up to the surgery waiting room. I am given a pager that will go off when surgery is done, or when the doctor needs to speak to me. Ok, we go sit down. I am having a hard time sitting still. Soon, people start filtering in that I know. My recollection is that eventually my mom and Mr & Mrs Beefy were all there at the same time. Huh? Where are the kids? I honestly am drawing a blank. I know my son Oops might have been with them, he did bring AA up to the hospital later that night. There must have been 9 - 15 people that showed up to give me moral and spiritual support. They filtered in and out during the next 3 1/2 hours of surgery. Alot of time was spent holding hands, drinking coffee, sharing DS stories and praying.

The pager finally vibrated and my mom and I were escorted into a consult room. The doctor * gave me a run down of DS's injuries. Intestines and organs shoved up thru the diaphram, shattered left foot, broken right femur, 3 broken ribs, broken tail bone, L-3&4 cracked, C-6&7 cracked, collapsed right lung, and a slight tear in the spleen. This surgery only corrected the internal injuries, the other 2 or 3 surgeries would be postponed until DS was more stable.

Amazing, he lived.

More on this later.

* I am a believer in God, period. The fact that this particular surgeon was working at a teaching hospital in rural Missouri, is nothing but a miracle. The surgeon is one of the top rated in our nation, true story. My husband would not have survived had this man not been at the hospital that day. That surgeon relocated within 3 months.