Friday, October 30, 2009

Foot in mouth syndrome

Yes, I too am capable of setting said foot in mouth. Yuck.

How did I do that, you ask? Well, my husband has the day off work. Amazing, he is rarely off on a weekend night. So I foolishly suggested going to a haunted house. That in and of itself is not the issue...its the 90 minute drive there and 90 minute drive home that makes the whole event kinda suck.

I guess I am becoming an old fuddy duddy. I would rather go home and facebook, but nooooooo, I had to go and open my big fat trap. *sigh* At least I will have something fun to blog about tomorrow. Oooo, and maybe a picture or 2.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Bats and such

Field trips make for interesting car conversation.

My daughter went on a field trip to a cave. Days before the trip, she was convinced that there were going to be bats in the cave. I reassured her, that most likely there were no bats in the cave. There have been tours going thru that cave for many many years. There is only one way into the cave. There wouldn't be anything for them to eat considering it is sealed off from the outside.

Alas, she would not be disuaded. On the way home from an inpromptu shopping excursion, she regaled the tales of THE BAT. She is convinced a bat flew right by her....well, after further investigation, more like down the hallway from where she was standing. After even more questioning, she finally admits SHE is the only one who actually SAW the bat. LOL.

*Sigh* Oh to be 12 again...

Friday, October 16, 2009

A local tragedy, triggers a memory

So yesterday a woman, who I have associated with on several occassions, was killed in a head on collision. Six years ago, December 9th, my husband was in a similar accident and survived. The gentleman he hit head on, was killed instantly.

The morning was misty and drizzeling. DS's alarm went off at 5 am. I nudged him to get up. He rolled over and tried to cuddle. I pushed him away. He went to work mad. About an hour later, as I am laying in bed waiting to hear the kids get up, I hear the phone ring. Groaning, I rolled over, thinking it was work calling me in on my day off and I was already scheduled to work at my second job, the winery. Five minutes later, the phone rings again. This time my son AA answered and brought me the phone.

I was still thinking it was work, but then I hear a womans voice say something about our area hospital. Confused I asked her to repeat what she just said. She informed me that my husband had been in a serious accident. I laughed and said "No he hasn't" Denile is a river in Egypt. She once again informed me of what had happened. By this time I was standing in the kitchen and the kids were starting to file in from upstairs. I clearly remember feeling my legs start to buckle under me, but the looks on the faces of the kids stopped me in my tracks.

I believe I said "Oh my God, where is he?". Then suddenly I realized the kids were listening to my end of the coversation and they realized something was wrong with their dad. I watched each of them as their faces showed the utter devistation that comes in this type of situation. I wanted to freak out and cry, but I couldn't let the kids see me lose my mind. BK-DQ started sobbing, AA was jumping up and down freaking out and crying, Jr. has tears quietly rolling out of his big blue eyes and Sissy is crying and looks absolutely terrified.

I have to say that the human brain is an amazing piece of machinery. I have no idea how I pulled off the next steps in that situation. I basically bum rushed the person off the phone. I had alot of things to accomplish before I could leave the house to head to the hospital. First phone call, to my mother. She lived about an hour away and I heard her feet hit the floor as I was talking to her.....the most amazing thing about this situation, she HATES my husband.

Second call was to the gas station, my first job, where my husband stops every morning on his way to work. Had he been there? Yup, filled up at 5:35. Ok, so I know about where the accident happened.

Third call, to Mr. Bikerguy who helped my husband get his job in the Union, he would know how to contact the company my husband was working for and let them know what happened. I got stonewalled by his wife. I asked to speak to Mr. Bikerguy. Mrs. Bikerguy asked who I was. I told her who I was, what happened to my husband and exactly what I needed from her husband. Mrs. Bikerguy had the gall to say he was sleeping. DUH !!! It's 6am and Mr Bikerguy is retired, but I really needed his help. She finally conceeded to let me talk to him. Sheesh, I hope when she is in a crisis nobody ever treats her like a criminal. Ok, hubby's work taken care of.

Oh crap, I can't leave the kids home alone, well, I can, but not during a crisis and mom will be at least an hour. Who to call?? Oh yea, Mr Beefy and Ms Beefy. They live 3 miles from us. We live in the country, so in perspective, that is pretty close. Hey, Mr Beefy, DS was in a really bad car accident this morning, can you come sit with the kids till my mom gets here? Ok, thanks. (they ended up taking the kids to their house, way to take directions people)

Now my work. Called my second job boss, who used to be a friend, to tell her what happened. Also on my agenda was getting a phone number or having her call one of our co-workers. He was an elder in the church my husband and I just started visiting. I asked her to contact him to see if the pastor would be willing to come and pray for my husband. Boss lady said she would make those calls and then meet me at the hospital.

Now to actually get dressed. Pants. Where are my pants?? Kids calm down and help mommy find her pants. Oh yea, clean underwear, I don't know how long I will be gone. Group hug !!! Sitting the younger kids on my lap and reassuring them daddy would be ok. (Yea, I know, I know, I was lying, but I had to leave them alone for a short period of time and they needed peace of mind). Ok, guys be good till the Beefy's get here. Love you.

Into the van and off to the hospital. Unless you have been through this type of thing before, you cannot fathom the responsibility I was feeling while driving there. Things flashed through my mind. What if he is ok, but disfigured? What if he dies? What would I tell the kids? How are we going to pay for this? Is it my fault? Is it his fault? Was it the other drivers fault? Can we sue if its not our fault? Will we get sued if its his fault?? OMG, slow down, dummy, you could be the only parent they have left and you are gonna kill yourself. I wonder if he is still alive? How am I going to pay the bills with him out of work? Well, maybe he is ok. What if he isn't ok? OMG, what if he is brain damaged?

I finally arrived. It is kinda hazey here. One of my gas station co-workers shows up. Why? We can't stand each other. Surreal. The doctor, an Indian woman, keeps coming out of the freakin' ER room and shaking her head. WTF? Things are not looking good. I told her there was something she could do, FLY HIM TO THE MAJOR HOSPITAL. Oh, cant do that because of the misty conditions. Ok, DRIVE HIM THERE. He isn't stable enough? Are you just going to sit there and watch him DIE??

I see a friend come in the ambulance entrance, just like I did. I asked her what she was doing there. She says her mom was in an accident. I freaked !! OMG did DS kill my friends mom? I asked if her mom was ok? She looked at me kinda funny and said yes. Off she went to see her mom. My boss showed up, and the winery owner showed up to sit with me. FINALLY, they wheeled him out to the ambulance. He never regained consiousness before he left our podunk town. Oh and for the record, they revived him once on the 60 mile drive there, once in the ambulance bay and once on the operating table. That's right folks, he died 3 times.

The hour drive to the major hospital was uneventful, except for when we drove thru the crash site. As we (my boss drove me there) were approaching the accident scene, there was a state trooper in the road. We pulled up to him and he started screaming at us. WTF?? I rolled the window down and told him who we were, what we were doing and he screams some more. WTF?? Dude calm down. I roll my eyes and rolled up the window while he is still ranting at me and tell boss lady to ignore him and drive thru. The other 15 cops waved us thru without incident. Wow..his truck was really mangled on the drivers door. The truck he hit head on, looked hardly damaged at all, just a bent front fender and quarter panel. Why was that semi parked on the side of the road? There was green paint from my husbands truck all over grill.

As we were pulling off the highway it hit me. He could be dead. I could be a widow at the age of 39....er 29...not a time to be lying about my age, 39. Geez, I don't wanna date again. *shudder* As I walk into the hospital and tell the orderly behind the desk who I am, he says "oh, you have a phone call." WTF?? Surreal. I get on the phone and its my brother. I even pulled the phone away from my ear to look at it, as if it is an object from a flying saucer. My brother asked me some question and I said, geez Douchebro, I don't even know if he is alive at this time. My brother, not the hospital, informs me my husband is alive and being prepped for surgery. WTF?? He has no relation to my husband, how did he get the information I couldn't even get from orderly guy. That kinda ticked me off...oh well, move on.

Up to the surgery waiting room. I am given a pager that will go off when surgery is done, or when the doctor needs to speak to me. Ok, we go sit down. I am having a hard time sitting still. Soon, people start filtering in that I know. My recollection is that eventually my mom and Mr & Mrs Beefy were all there at the same time. Huh? Where are the kids? I honestly am drawing a blank. I know my son Oops might have been with them, he did bring AA up to the hospital later that night. There must have been 9 - 15 people that showed up to give me moral and spiritual support. They filtered in and out during the next 3 1/2 hours of surgery. Alot of time was spent holding hands, drinking coffee, sharing DS stories and praying.

The pager finally vibrated and my mom and I were escorted into a consult room. The doctor * gave me a run down of DS's injuries. Intestines and organs shoved up thru the diaphram, shattered left foot, broken right femur, 3 broken ribs, broken tail bone, L-3&4 cracked, C-6&7 cracked, collapsed right lung, and a slight tear in the spleen. This surgery only corrected the internal injuries, the other 2 or 3 surgeries would be postponed until DS was more stable.

Amazing, he lived.

More on this later.

* I am a believer in God, period. The fact that this particular surgeon was working at a teaching hospital in rural Missouri, is nothing but a miracle. The surgeon is one of the top rated in our nation, true story. My husband would not have survived had this man not been at the hospital that day. That surgeon relocated within 3 months.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Columbus Day Craziness

Ok, as promised the call center capers abound today.

My calls are usually pretty inane. You know, what is my balance? has check XXX cleared? etc? I have to say I love those calls, they keep me sane. The other calls are the ones that make me wonder how these callers can make it through the day without opening their mouths to speak and tripping over their brain.

Call #1

Me - Thank you for calling

Dumbass #1 - Are your banks open today?

Me - No, I'm sorry. Our branches are closed for the holiday today.

Dumbass #1 - What about the branch on Lakewood? *

Call # 2

Me - Thank you for calling

Dumbass #2 - I need to make a transfer from my savings to my checking.

Me - I'm sorry, your savings account is in an inactive status and I am unable to complete that transfer for you.

Dumbass #2 - My account is not inactive, there is money in it and you need to transfer the money.

Me - I'm sorry, I cannot change the status on your account. Only the branch has the capability to change the status on your account.

Dumbass #2 - You can change the status on my account, now do it. I need the money transferred.

Me - I am sorry you will have to contact the branch to get the status changed.

Dumbass #2 - I need the money now. You need to transfer the money, my account is active and it has money in it. Now do the transfer.

Well, you get the gist of that one. #2 went on for 2 minutes before he finally called me an idiot and hung up.

Call #3

Me - Thank you for calling

Dumbass #3 - I tried calling the branch and they won't answer.

Me - I'm sorry sir, our branches are closed for the holiday.

Dumbass #3 - That is stupid. Other banks are open today. Why isn't your bank open?

Me - I'm sorry sir, but it is a holiday and our branches are closed today.

Dumbass #3 - That is ridiculous !! I am going to close my account. * *

Me - Thank you for calling and have a nice day !


It wouldn't have been this bad, but 2 people decided to call in sick from the night shift. We are already 3 people short on the night shift. Thanks alot guys !!! Well, I guess I should really say $$$ THANKS ALOT $$$. I am getting double time to work their shift...hahahahaha. Only 5 more minutes until the end of this day and I can toddle off to bed and dream of creative ways to .... well, enough said. LOL.


* - my mental response - WTF?? Why would I tell you our branches are closed if one was open, you freakin' idiot???

* *- Dumbass #3 - His accounts had a total of $5.23. I am thinking we can, even in these tough economic times, survive without your paltry five freakin' dollars....dumbass.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Another rainy day

I was sick over the weekend. That didn't stop me from running around spreading my disease doing my weekly errands. One errand I may end up regretting, well, I may alreay regret. My youngest daughter, Sissy, turned 12 and has been bugging me to dye her hair blonde for the last 3 yrs. So I finally caved and bought some products from Sally's Supply.

And so ensued 3 days of trying to get her hair a suitable shade of blonde. The first woman I spoke to said all I needed was a color and a higher grade developer. Great, that wasn't too expensive. We went home and colored her hair...or rather attempted to color her hair. That hardly lightened it at all. *sigh* Back to Sally's for another attempt on Sunday after church (and a nap, thank you, remember, I was sick).

This new person said she heard another gal that works there, recommend this bleaching powder. Powder? Never heard of it, but if you say so. I mean she is the professional right? She works at Sally's for crying out loud. Back home to another round of coloring, or in this case bleaching. So more money out the window. This time I broke down and bought a Sally's discount card. I would have bought it the day before and saved even more money, but that other lady made me believe that I wasn't going to have to make another purchase. Grrrrr.

Well, as we sat during the processing time, her hair got lighter and lighter. Ok, that is a good sign, right? I was a little concerned it would get to light or even worse, make all her hair fall out. I mean, I have never worked with this magical bleach powder before. I sent her in the shower to rinse, wash, repeat and condition. It looked a little reddish. We proceeded to dry her hair and her hair got more and more the color of a new pumpkin. What???? She has to go to school tomorrow. Ok, not a problem, hubby gets off work and can drop by Sally's on the way home and get something to fix it. Nope, Sally's closed at 6 before he got there. Ok, so she stays home a day, not a big deal. I still was feeling pretty cruddy, so I could stay home with her and dad.

Monday morning we run off to Sally's once again to get something to make her hair look a more normal color of blonde. This time I have my model aka: sissy with me so the sales woman can see the disaster color of her hair. She suggested a color and a developer again, only this time the color has a tint or ash in it to tone down the hideous orange reddish color. Back home to try one more time. It worked, but the color is still not what I would call a normal color blonde. I guess we will wait a few weeks and break down and go to our local mistress of color hair dresser. Live and learn.

Oh and the best part....the horrid little girls at school told my daughter they hated her hair. Poor kid has had trauma after trauma, but she is holding firm on keeping her hair color blonde. You go girl !!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Why women don't like me...


Used to be that women didn't like me because I was young, thin and cute. Only the cute applies now and even that is fading fast. I am just wondering if I am the only woman who other women do not like. This isn't a one time deal, it has happened over and over and over thru out my life. Women do not like me. Mostly women I work with, oh yea, and my mother too.

One of the last places I worked, I had a screaming match meeting with one of my coworkers in the human resouces office. She felt that I disrespected her because I refused to hand write a check for $155K instead of pushing it thru the computer system. In the words of Steve Martin "well excuuuuuuse meeee". I figured that perhaps the accountant, my boss, should make that decision...she told me to call her if I needed anything. Sheesh.


My husband seems to think its because when I ask a question and don't get the answer I want, I say something like, "no, you f*cking moron, thats not what I meant". And then try to explain exaclty what information I need. I can see how that would put some people off, but for the most part I am kind, generous and at least to me amusing. I have actually quit giving a shit worrying about whether or not I am liked or not. Too much energy wasted on that.

With that said, I am shocked and amazed that my arch enemy er, wicked witch er... supervisor actually took my side in a situation that happened at work last week. She even went so far as to say that I was being singled out and the person on the support staff in particular would not have treated anyone else with such disrespect. Zoinks !!! *picking my jaw up off the floor* Finally, someone who actually can see through the bullshit I have to deal with from this bitch. It only took my supervisor 2 screaming matches, 3 idiotic tests and 10 months to figure out that I was set up for her to hate me from the beginning. Truth Justice and the American way triumphs once again.

Maybe there is hope for me yet. HAHAHAHA....not likely. I am not gonna change and there will always be someone who hates me for no other reason than to hate me. God loves me most days and that is all that matters to me.

Quote of the day - I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. ~ Ron White